first sunday away from home...

it is our first sunday away from our beloved church... we will be doing 3 months away from it to get some distance to reflect, pray and listen to God.

in the last 4 years, we had been so blessed to be a part of a wonderful body of believers. we have been so blessed by the fellowship, relationships and encouragement we've received through all the major milestones since we've moved to Phoenix.

yet, over the past 6 months, things have gotten very difficult. we've wondered if we are where God wants us. we've wondered what is that God is trying to tell us. we've wondered how do we respond. we've wondered who do we confide in, since we don't want to stumble anyone, and yet desperately needed to talk things through...

thankfully, God provided my father as a sounding board. he suggested we take a three months sabbatical. to go to church at the mother church for three months and while there, clear our minds and evaluate. we also got homework to do from our pastor back in chicago. we are to read the book "before you quit" to really assess ourselves and see if the desire to leave is appropriate.

sunday was strange... we woke up later... dropped off cody at sunday school and just sat and listened to the speaker. it felt strange to not know anyone sitting around you. it felt odd that we didn't know a soul as we streamed in and out of service. no one said hi to us, recognized us, or stopped to chat with us. and it felt even stranger to realize that even though we didn't know anyone around us, we found familiar faces on the stage... we knew people in the choir... we knew people in the worship team... we also knew the pastors... and this is not to say we know of them... but that they know us too. then it hit us as we reflected on it... most of the people we knew were people who had left our church and returned to the mother church. it just started to flood our minds that, there have been so many people that have come through the doors of our church with so much excitement, eagerness and desire to serve... and so many have also left wounded, discouraged and disappointed. as we talked to people who have come to know of our situation, it was saddening to know that they had somewhat anticipated the situation and were relieved for us that we had come to the decision to take a break. i was expecting at least one person to ask "what happened?" but we didn't get any of that. instead we more or less got the response of "good, take a break, find respite here, and move on"...

to be honest... i've been reading our homework book, and i'm having a hard time seeing myself in the scenarios the author has been laying out. granted i haven't finished the book... so i'll keep you posted...

okay... sleepy now... post more later...