Perinatal Doctor's Appt

today we went to see our high risk OB doctor for the first time. having a background in medicine, sometimes you just know tooooooo much. so chiyang was all cautious. he said we should make an appointment with a high risk OB doctor waaaaaay before we even try to get pregnant (we have clearance from my rheumatologist for mid-oct).

okay... you might be wondering why see a high risk OB doctor...

1. miscarried first pregnancy
2. gestational diabetes while pregnant with cody
3. cody had a spinal cord birth defect (tethered cord)
4. my current diagnosis of mixed connective tissue disease

soooooo... there you go, all the reasons! actually it's more of the last point that makes things mighty complicated. in fact, the doctor agreed it was an "interesting case".

after chatting quite some time with him, we were both greatly disappointed with what he had to say. basically, he said we "should wait 12 to 18 months after recovery." and both chiyang and i were like, "when was that?" i mean, i was sooooo flared up they pounded me with so much medication to suppress my immune system so that i would be "normal". and i did get more or less "normal" after my immune system was pretty much shut down. and so, when do you actually consider me "recovered"? hmmm... we don't know... so we probed more. and gosh darn it! i wished we had just walked in pregnant and went, Oooops, we didn't know!

the doctor (who is a wonderful doc and i'm glad he has agreed to follow my "case" through till delivery) said, since we don't really know, we should be safe to start from your last dose of chemo. and me and chiyang were like "nooooo... that was jul this year!!!" this mean, even though i got my flare up in dec 04, started chemo feb 05, and lowered its frequency in jul 05 to every 3 months which ended in jul 06, we had to now wait till jul 07 to even try?!?!?!?! we were looking to start in october!!!! this year!!!! i could hear my mind screaming,

no no no... not another year? cody will be the only child for too long!!! no no no... i'm sooo ready now... i've been ready since cody was 6 months!!!

but after we had left the doctor's office, i started to recall my morning thoughts about foster care. i had been reflecting on our desire to do foster care this morning. thinking about how we've been talking about it, but haven't done too much. actually a little annoyed at the both of us (chiyang and myself) that we haven't made it a priority. annoyed that we had spent more time on figuring out our home situation rather than spending time exploring the option we were considering. i wanted both to have equal priority and well, i wasn't being fair. yeah, i was hard on myself...

so my morning thought resurfaced... and i thought, maybe God's finding time for us by giving us a break in the "baby-making" world. maybe God's giving us a clear sign that foster care is something he wants us to do. i mean, it seems like a pretty clear option. my doctor has pretty much axed the thought of trying anytime soon, soooooo here we go! foster care!

please continue to pray for wisdom as we tread through this fairly unknown path that we are about to embark on. there are many agencies and we want to align ourselves with one that will be the best fit for us.

oh! other items to share... chiyang's got an infection from his surgery. we've seen the surgeon and he's now popping antibiotics from his sample closet at work. pray that it doesn't worsen and that he heals... honestly, i'm getting quite tired of caring for two babies. and my mom leaves tomorrow... i don't know what i'm going to do...